In my dream, I am driving on icy roads. Oddly, I'm driving a vehicle that looks a lot like my mom's; a White Chevy Blazer. I'm alone and it is at night on a relatively deserted stretch of highway, although, I have no sense of fear of discomfort.
I turn left, crossing several lanes and in the turn, the car looses grip with the road and I begin a fast slide out of control. I can see things I will hit and I know it won't be good. At this point, it is a feeling of suspended animation. Not fear of death, or fear of pain or injury. I'm saying either aloud or in my head "Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no". Not yelling, not panicked, just that this is bad, really bad. I'm thinking of wanting to be with my husband. I start hitting things and bouncing off, and rolling and spinning and hitting more things.
The next thing I am aware of is getting out of the car. I am badly injured but I somehow walk home (to a home that doesn't look like our home now, I just know it's home). I'm looking for my husband. I need to inform him and tell him right away because he will be so worried and so sad. I go home to look for him but cannot find him. That's really about all I remember.
In reviewing the dream, it is a crash that would not allow me to live, much less walk home with bad injuries to gently break the news to my husband. And I can't find him home at night...that never happens. Something tells me I died and my will to ease the blow, to tell him myself is so great that I don't know I died...my spirit just goes home to him, where I want to be, to lessen the hurt. I've experienced a lot of pain and losses in my life and he really hasn't.
According to The Dream Book by Betty Bethards, here are a few interpretations:
Accident: "Not paying enough attention to all parts of self; not integrating experiences; preoccupation. Going too fast; need to slow down, concentrate energy." Well, I have been feeling a bit split recently, getting caught up in my doing.
Car: is said to represent the "self in daily physical life. The larger the vehicle, the more potential you are using to manifest what you want. Note how many people are in the car (one), and the color (white)."
Number One: "New beginnings, oneness with God, unity of life."
White: "truth and purity"
Ice: "frozen emotions and feelings, insensitivity; blocked from giving and receiving. You are on hold, immobilized, not growing. On thin ice means taking a risk; situation or relationship is uncertain." I can assume that losing control on ice could represent a feeling of loss of control of emotion, forward motion, feelings or emotions.
Husband: "masculine part of self. Qualities you project on husband. Perception of relationship with husband."
Night: "Not seeing things clearly; cut off from inner light of guidance. Moving into unknown parts of self."
House/Home: "The self..."
I'm not sure how to interpret this really. When I woke up I was not in a cold sweat or a panic, I was sad and felt separate from my husband. I snuggled up to him for warmth and reconnection and fell back to sleep. Perhaps as a relationship ages, or we age in relationships, there are periods of time when we strive to maintain earlier intensity of connection or define new ways of connection. Also, driving alone and difficult roads seems to be a metaphor for my life up to this point. It has been turning around over the past few years for the better. Perhaps the upcoming visit with my son who I have not seen for years is making me feel the old hardships, the old wounds, and the feeling of being all on my own with it all. And my husband will not be with me on the journey...not physically anyway. Maybe I'm missing him in advance. He is always such an anchor for me.
Any other ideas?